You walk by an older adult and think, "aw, what a sweet old lady."

Congrats, you're ageist.

Don't worry, so am I, sometimes. So is almost everyone. Ageism is one of the few "isms" we still get away with in public. Nobody would say "what a sweet little immigrant" and think it was a compliment. But "sweet old lady"? "Feisty for her age"? "Still sharp"? We say things like this constantly, and they usually come from a good place. That's exactly what makes ageism so easy to miss.

What ageism actually is

The American Society on Aging defines ageism as stereotypes (how we think), prejudice (how we feel), and discrimination (how we act) toward others, or ourselves, based on age.

Notice that last part: ourselves. Ageism isn't just something younger people do to older people. It's also the sixty-year-old who won't try something new because "that ship has sailed," or the seventy-year-old who apologizes for asking a question twice. We absorb the stereotypes long before we're old enough for them to apply to us, and then we use them on ourselves. While ageism affects every age group, yes even children, we're going to stay focused on older adults.

Why we don't notice it

Ageism hides in plain sight because it's baked into so much of what we read, watch, and joke about. A few examples you've probably seen a hundred times without clocking them:

• The assumption that an older adult needs help to "keep up," such as physically, mentally, with technology, etc.

• The assumption that older adults are all comfortably wealthy (they're not, by the way, as many are working well past the age of 65 out of necessity, not boredom).

• The assumption that memory slips mean dementia instead of just a person who forgot where they put their keys, like the rest of us.

• The reflex to talk louder or slower to someone before you have any evidence they need it.

None of these come from malice. Most come from stories we've absorbed since childhood through sitcoms, commercials, throwaway jokes that are repeated so often they start to feel like fact instead of stereotype.

Rewiring the narrative

Here's the good news: catching your own bias is a skill and like any skill, it gets easier with practice.

Start with self-reflection. Next time you catch yourself making an assumption about someone based on their age, their capability, their interest, or their memory, pause and ask where that assumption came from. Did they show you evidence of it, or did you just default to a stereotype? Then remember what's actually true: getting older doesn't make someone less capable. It means they lived a life stacked with memories, experience, and hard-won lessons that a lot of us are still years away from earning. Treating someone as fragile or irrelevant because of their age isn't a sign of respect but rather a shortcut that costs them dignity and costs you the chance to actually know them.

That shift from assumption to curiosity is the whole ballgame. It's a small thing, and it costs nothing, but it changes how older adults experience every interaction with you, from the checkout line to the family dinner table.

Where GeriPhorms fits in

This is exactly the kind of shift we built GeriPhorms around. Not fixing older adults and not managing them from a distance, just giving families and communities better tools to see and support the people in front of them. Small, proactive changes in how we think and communicate go a long way.

If this hits close to home, good, that means it's working. Keep noticing, that's step one.